maybe forever
by justanotherfantasticnobody
Summary: stefan has been turned in 1864, he is having trouble being around humans, because lexi is teaching him to survive on animal blood. when lexi meets elena she uses her to help stefan understand why not to hurt humans again, knowing he won't feed on her because she looks like katherine. this makes it sound horrible, but you should give it a chance if you like stelena.
1. Chapter 1

I woke up this morning with a pounding in my head. i did not think that vampires could get sick, but it has been four weeks without human blood and i am feeling closer to death than i ever have. Lexi is truly a great person, i get along with her well, but it happens on more than a seldom occasion that i wish i had never met her.

Damon is still so angry with me, even though i have not killed anyone in a month. he has said he will leave town for weeks now, but he has never made it passed the front gate. sometimes, when he comes home at night he has a smile on his face. i would like to ask him why, but he has been so distant. i can hardly speak to him without reminding him to be ashamed of the monster his baby brother has become. i think he has met a girl, i can hear him talking to lexi when i am not in the room. he uses the name giselle often. he has said she resembles katherine, but not so much that he is constantly reminded of her.

i do not miss Katherine. i so badly wish she was not dead, but i could not change what would have happened anyways. i loved her so, and she was beautiful, but there was not much else about her that i held close to my heart. all she would have ever done was driven me and damon apart.

i got out of bed and walked to the kitchen. i turned on the sink and splashed the water on to my face. in the insulated basement we hung rabbits from the ceiling, so i had breakfast.

i waited for Lexi to get home, as i read Wuthering Heights again. Lexi was at the hospital, sharing her blood to save random strangers. i didn't quite understand that. at least not yet. Lexi said that some day soon, i will. it's like she knows who i am, without even having to meet the parts of me that i have shut out. when lexi was home we would talk. she would tell me more about the suffering in death, and that it's the least we can do for the rest of the world to live the life we are lucky enough to have for eternity.

I heard the front door open, and pretended like i was doing something other than having been waiting for her all day. she walked into the room looking rather baffled. Before she did anything else she asked me,

"Can i see that picture of Katherine again?" she would not look me in the eye, i found her behavior strange but did not press it.

"Of coarse, it's up in my room." i said without any intent on fetching it for her. she looked at me, then, expectantly with one raised eyebrow. I sighed,

"Alright." i sped up and into my bedroom. i opened the top left hand drawer of my dresser, that mostly held things i kept to remember my mother. but underneath the needle point canvas of flowers, was a tin plate picture of the first women i'd ever known to love. she looked as beautiful as ever, portraying everything i remember of her with a mischievous smile on her lips.

i traveled back down at human speed, holding it between my fingers.

"thank you, Stefan." lexi said, standing from her chair, and holding out her hand.

"Of coarse," i replied handing the photograph to her. "But why would you want to see it?"

She studied the picture for a moment looking perplexed, with a furrowed brow. she took a moment to answer, but eventually said,

"No reason." handing it back to me quickly. She seemed strange the entire day, but still well engaged. and we talked quite a while.

**xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxx**

**(third person)**

a blonde women sat by a cot, holding a wounded soldier's hand. she wiped the mans mouth with a handkerchief, and whispered something into his ear.

"only faith is the father of a miracle child."

the man would never see her again, led to believe she was an angel in a fever dream. he would keep the words she spoke to his heart for the rest of his life, for he miraculously healed of every ailment to accompany him that night. in his dream he would have thought the vile she gave him was of Christ's blood, little did he know it was her own kindness that saved his life that night, not that of the lords.

the women then sat beside another soldier, and proceeded as she had previously done. she held his head up with her hand and gave him the vile, whispered the words her mother had told her in his ear, wiped his mouth and kissed him on the forehead.

a young girl named elena had volunteered there. her head was spinning. propelled by the pain anyone could pray not to endure, only all the surrounding men would not be so lucky. the blood stained tools she carried from doctor to doctor, to dismember limb to limb, had started to release a stench. she felt dizzy, but if collapsed would only be stepped over to attend a dying life, and her duty never be done. she pressed on, but when saw a man who reminded her of her brother, she though she might do better by a dying mans side, than have them at her feet. she fetched cold water and a cloth for a man who had been hit close to a cannon and the back of his legs torn open. she had someway been drawn to his appearance, like she wanted to care for him, like a close relative you've never met before. he clearly had a fever. she wet the cloth and put it on his forehead, then took his hand.

"You'll be alright, now." she cooed, only half convinced he could hear her. but he squeezed her hand.

"my name is elena." she said softly, not sure of what else to say. "Can you tell me yours?" she said as more of a friendly introduction, but also to see if he was conscious.

He opened his eyes, now clear to be blue, wider to see what he could have sworn to be an angel. "Mmm..." he got out. "Mmmm...atthew." she looked as if a profound realization had dawned on her, but stayed with a calm, smile on her face.

"May i call you matt?" she asked stroking his blonde hair, soothingly. he only smiled, but a smile that could not have been interpreted as any other answer than yes.

"Do you have family in mystic falls?" she asked. he nodded as eagerly as was clear that he could. "The Donavan's?" he parted his lips to speak but only nodded again. "I remember you, matt." she said quietly. "We played together in school, didn't we?" he smiled very brightly at her. "Oh, matt." she held his hand tightly, and kissed him on the cheek. afraid that an embrace would hurt him. "We were to be married, you remember?" she sang at the memory of a childhood promise. she reminisced, and he listened for longer than they realized. the hospital closed, but elena stayed.

as did the blonde women, called Lexi by those closest to her, known better as Alexia Branson. she saw Elena from afar, over several bleeding soldiers, she recognized her. she had seen that face, only in as much as a picture, but she knew the girl behind that picture as well as anyone. she'd been told.

"Katherine?" she asked with a rightful distain, as she approached the bed. "I thought you were dead."

The girl who looked like Katherine, turned her head, only with a smile. "I think you have the wrong person, miss." as she said concernedly.

But this was not Katherine, she had life inside her eyes, let alone glowing life. she felt warm, and she looked angelic. not by any fault of her beautiful features, but by the way she held them eternally kindly.

"I'm so sorry, i must." the blonde women said. she looked between elena and the man at her side.

"I'm Elena." She reached out her hand.

"Alexia." she took it. "Is this your husband?" she asked as she sat on the opposite side of the bed.

"Not for any time soon." Elena said with a smile as she looked back to matt. the girl called Lexi looked around for a moment, until her eyes landed on a glass of water.

"the glass is almost empty, Elena. How about you go get some more for matt, while we're thinking of it. before he gets to thirsty, i mean, he does have a nasty fever."

Elena nodded, and smiled at the idea. little did she know, lexi only looked to find a reason to send elena away for a moment. Lexi leaned down to matt and looked into his eyes. investing his thoughts taking control of his conscious will, her pupils dilated, as she said,

"Drink this," she held a vile to his lips, and he took as willingly as if from his mothers hand. "You won't remember." she did not say what she had to the other men, for it was a different situation. she needed to know the girl who looked like katherine. For stefan sake, she needed to understand what it meant. if it meant bad, she protect him, if it meant good, she be happy for him.

Elena returned a moment later. she carried a hot bowl and the glass. "the soup is supposed to be for the workers, but i think that you could use some, Matty." she sat and placed the glass beside the bed. she put a towel on his chest, and held a spoon out to him. he drank slowly, and gave her a very thankful look.

"You said your name was Alexia?" elena asked, while still spoon feeding matt.

"Yes, my family call me lexi." Elena nodded, politely, in what seemed to be genuine interest.

"My mothers name was Alexandra, not exactly the same." Elena stated, with another one of her sweetest smiles. whereas lexi noticed,

"Was?"

"Oh...my parents passed in a fire." elena said as she stopped feeding matt for a moment.

"I'm sorry. What a dreadful way to die." it felt strange coming out of her mouth, surrounded by all those dying of much worse cause. though lexi was not wrong in saying so.

"they could not have been better parents. and i will not diminish their years of work, being ruined by their death. i have grieved, but that has passed. you have no need to be sorry, when so many people have died unfulfilled. my parents had a beautiful life, and i'm thankful that i got to be a part of it." Lexi nodded, kindly. it had dawned upon her that family having died in a fire, was Katherine's story when she first came into town. she dismissed it as coincidence and nothing more, as she taken by Elena's inspiring words.

"That is, truly, a beautiful way to look at it." Elena's gratitude in lexis words shown as she turned back to matt, who had also been listening, to feed him once more.

"I'm lucky to still have my brother and sister." elena started, again. "Having to take care of them has helped me understand, that if i pity myself, i begin to see my life as less than it is. my parents gave me everything, i should realize that. i owe them that much. when i see my brother and sister underestimate themselves the same way, it is my responsibility to give my parents lives their dues, and help my siblings do the same."

"Again, such a beautiful outlook, Elena. I am beginning to hope we will see each other again." Lexi got up from her chair and shook elena's hand. She left the hospital, bewildered by the incredible women, she had only just encountered. beginning to wonder more and more about her. Why did she look so much like Katherine? Lexi would never again wish to associate the two, but this was a question that should be answered.


	2. Chapter 2

i had that dream again. katherine is smiling at me, just standing in front of me. i feel so strange. i feel a warmth i dont remember having felt with her before. she is wearing blue, but that's all i really remember. it would seem an ordinary dream, had it not been for the feeling i get when im in it. i feel light, i feel safe, i feel desire, i feel happy, i feel passion, i feel love. i am coming to the conclusion that maybe lexi is right about love. maybe it is the point.

Lexi has stepped out again. she has seemed rather off-put for days now. i wish i could say i had a clue why. but she has been so distant. i loose myself in these thoughts for a while. before i hear the door open, lexi shouts that she is back and i walk to see her.

and katherine. i see katherine.

but it isn't katherine. she has life to her. she has warmth to her. and she is more beautiful than anything in the world. she is wearing a baby blue dress that falls against her perfect body like mercury. her hair is twisted up but for two curling locks of hair falling gracefully over each shoulder. who is she? who is that.

she smiles, and i don't know where i come from, or where i might have been seconds ago. because now, now she is here and she is beautiful, and she is smiling at me. my heart ignites in the most pleasant kind of burning. i am in love, and i only have just seen her. for everything i feel, and everything i can see of her now, would be worth anything else she had to offer. if she had no toes, i love her. if she spoke no english, i love her. if she is a cruel, vindictive person, i love her. and if she is perfect, i love her. because she is perfect.

this was my dream. but would you believe me if i said, that didn't even cross my mind in that moment? i was to taken my the intense warmth i felt in my bones, that i only now realize it was a heightened version of my premonition.

i, only after moments of gawking, remember that lexi is home. i give her a questioning look.

"This is elena gilbert." and elena stretches out her perfect hand. i take it in mine and bring it to my lips, unconsciously.

"You must be Mr. Salvatore." she says with a smile, and she has still neglected to pull her hand from mine.

"Elena Gilbert." i state with certainty, "i will marry you." i am surprised at myself, and that i could say what i had not thought, with such clarity.

"Stefan." lexi half-warned, half-giggled. Elena's smile had faded, though. she now had a look of serenity, and comfort. like she was considering it. her big brown eyes searched mine, intensively.

"alright." she says. Lexi looked surprised, and confused. like she did not understand the joke.

"someday." i clarify.

"Someday." elena repeats. and turns back to lexi. lexi looks at both of us for quite a while, until she shrugs it off, and asks me,

"Stefan, would you have a word, upstairs?"

"Of coarse, and elena feel free to make yourself at home. if you happen upon a dark haired gentleman, that should be my brother. i apologize that i cannot give you a tour, perhaps you can escourt yourself." by the time i am finished speaking, lexi has dragged me up the stairs.

She closes the door behind herself when we reach her room.

"I thought i was not to see humans, until i got under control." i wondered. as she shuffled through a drawer.

"I think we both know, she is not just any human." she glanced up at me, but continued to pull her clothing from her drawer and tossed them on to her bed.

"Yes, why does she look like katherine? and what are you doing?"

"I don't know why she looks like katherine, but i intend to take advantage of it."

"What do you mean?"

"well judging from your earlier interaction with her, you have already let love back in." i blush at her words and look at my feet. "but you still need to remember the value of human life. if you can learn to love and respect elena, it is a start to learn to respect all humans."

"I do love elena."

"You only just met her, stefan."

"Lexi, i'm not a child. i know love when i see it, let alone feel it." i pull my eyes from their fixture on the floorboards and look her in the eye. "I love her."


	3. Chapter 3

Lexi had packed a bag, and pulled it over her shoulder on her way out of the bedroom door.

"You best pack a bag for yourself, Stefan." She suggested with no more than a shrug.

"Why? Where are you taking me?"

"We'll be living at the gilberts guest house." She had a smug smile on her face.

"What? Why?" Stefan stopped her from traveling any further down the stairs and into earshot of Elena.

"You're brother is young, and you are not yet an adult." She explained as she faced him with a sigh. "They usually rent the place out to travelers, anyways…Elena offered, and when explained to her father that your father had only recently died, he understood."

"If they knew I killed him I'm sure they'd feel differently." He scoffed.

"Is that a hint of remorse I hear?" lexi teased, as Stefan shuffled his feet. Before averting his gaze to the ground.

"Lexi, I hate to say this… but do you think I'm ready to be around humans again? If I hurt someone… especially someone close to her, Elena would never love me…"

"Stefan…" lexi sighed and grasped his hand, as he pulled his eyes from the floorboards to meet her. "I will take care of you," she smiled. "I wont let you be alone with anyone, and if you lose yourself, I will be there to find you. I believe in you. I am prepared to expect the best, and be ready for the worst from you. Because you are my friend, Stefan. I do not take that responsibility lightly. I will always be there for you, I promise." She smiled, and he blushed. "And I'll put in a good word or two for you with Elena."

"Thank you, lexi." He leaned in and kissed her on the cheek, before speeding to his room to pack.

Lexi grinned and shook her head before walking quietly down the stairs. She found Elena in the living room looking at all the books. The blonde one cleared her throat causing Elena to jump.

"Oh, you gave me such a fright!" she exclaimed placing a heart on her chest.

"I apologize." Lexi walked over, smiling, and touched Elena's arm to soothe her.

The blonde women looked to where she had been looking a moment before, and Elena turned to join her.

"Do you like to read, Elena?" she asked.

"I love to. My mother taught me, and it's probably become my favorite pastime."

"These are all Stefan's books, you know? He has more in his own room but he couldn't fit all the ones that he has!"

"It's almost the same in my family. Though the books were already there, I think I'm the only one who reads them. So I stole as many as I could and kept them in my room." Elena giggled, as she whispered it, like it was a secret. And lexi giggled along.

Stefan walked down the stairs, then, with a bag in hand. "Well Lexi, Elena? Shall we be off?" Stefan said, trying to sound as humble as he could (considering he had only just learned her family was taking him in) but being far to happy to spend more time with Elena.

"We should indeed." Elena walked up to him and hooked her arm around his, without shame. Lexi smiled, as if strangely proud of the two of them before she trailed behind them.

She watched them walk in exactly the same stride, not sure if it was intentional. She heard them laugh and flirt and talk, never straining to hear exactly what they were saying. They were getting to know each other and with that she would not interfere.

Soon enough they reached the house, and Elena detached herself from Stefan, before she led them in.

A beautiful black woman in a dark blue dress and an apron took their bags, while attempting to take their coats as well. Lexi and Stefan both thanked her, and Elena smiled in her direction, as the woman walked out and too the guest house herself.

"Your home is lovely, Elena." Said Stefan.

"Thank you very much, my grandfather built this place." She informed.

"Well a job well done at that." Lexi agreed.

"If you come this way, I believe my father is in here." She gestured to the living room, and they followed as she walked there.

"Papa" she said affectionately, and walked over to his armchair, kissing him on the cheek. He hardly looked up from his newspaper. She sighed slightly, and beckoned Stefan and lexi closer. "Papa, these are the people who are going to live with us remember?" she said. "Lexi and Stefan?" upon hearing the mans name, he looked up.

"Stefan, is it?" he put down his paper, and stood up to shake his hand. "Giuseppe's boy?"

"Yes sir." He said, bowing his head a little.

"Such a shame about your father."

"Yes sir, thank you sir."

"And listen," he pulled him close to exclude lexi and Elena for the exchange. "I sympathize completely. But that will not warrant any ideas you may get about Elena. You will not touch my daughter while you are here, you understand?"

"I have no intention to, whatsoever." Stefan lied. Though that was never what he desired of her, of course he'd been thinking of it, since he laid eyes on her. Though he would never take advantage of her, he would never do that, unless she would accept all of him. He still cringed at slight guilt over saying it.

Elena and lexi looked curious once he pulled away.

"anyways," Elena led once her father had taken back his seat. "why do I not, show you to your rooms?" Elena said before taking lexis arm, and leading them out the back entrance of the house, and into the guest home.

She opened the door, lit the oil lamps, and pulled back the curtains. Stefan and lexi followed into the tiny house. It was a small place, but not at all too small to live in. it had a living room, and what looked to be two very large bedrooms, as well as a porch that looked out onto the gilbert vineyard.

"it's not much, but better than to be alone." She smiled. "And you will of course have all your meals in the main house with us. And being in that you are our guests, you are welcome anywhere on the main floor of our house. And anywhere else if invited, you know?"

Stefan and lexi looked around the room and smiled in unison.

"thank you so very much Elena."

"Of course, " she gave, shaking her head. " I will leave you to get acquainted with the place, and supper is served at 6."


End file.
